Self-Help Book: Dating Tips For College Women

Arpee Markarian

For the college woman searching for clues on how to develop a fulfilling relationship with a man, there is now another source to turn to besides friends. And no, it’s not advice on the Internet.

It’s an easy-to-read book: “Empowering College Women: Strategies for Campus Relationships.” The first-time, self-published author, Rick Becker, offers information on romantic relationships, which he developed during 20 years of observing people at a large college nightclub he helped start at age 26. His discoveries are presented as tools for self-improvement, dating and forming relationships.

“This book is about the stuff that doesn’t change with fashion because the trend is always about empowering one’s talents and charting an amazing life for one’s self,” Barker writes in the introduction.

His insights are aimed at helping a woman find a man who will empower her – a man who will enable her to reach her goals and dreams – one who will accept her support in return. With 100 concepts, 36 opportunities, and more than 60 strategies and techniques featured, a woman learns how to meet, attract and maintain a strong connection with this type of man.

A concept recurring throughout the book is that of harmony, defined as “interacting in a way that keeps and encourages the individuality of each partner.” On the first page of all eight sections of the book (equivalent to eight very short chapters) the author writes 10 axioms of this concept.
“LOVE is the child of harmony. Harmony comes with accommodation. Accommodation begins with recognition. Recognition confers admiration and respect. Admiration and respect build self-confidence. Self-confidence is the engine of accomplishment.

Accomplishment is self- actualizing. Self-actualization is fulfillment. Fulfillment is harmony. Harmony is Bliss.”

One of the keys the book cites to achieving harmony is to employ the techniques provided by the author, some of which might already be practiced by women, such as smiling at people and complimenting them. To some this might seem like an obvious gesture to display. The mention of this social behavior is important, Becker says, because it helps people feel more at ease.

Another key concept in the book is effective communication. In section one, “Coaching College Men,” the author sheds light on the kind of verbal exchange a man favorably responds to. Through a description of the interactions between athletes and their coaches, Becker states: “Coaches have a way of getting the best out of their athletes by encouraging, praising, guiding, cheering, and believing in them. .When he experiences you compliment, encourage and cheer the people you come across in everyday life, he will appreciate you and want to study you whenever you are present.”

“This means learning to coach, and men love to be coached by positive-minded goal setters,” said Becker. “Great coaching requires behavior modification techniques that focus on positive what should be, and never negative what is or was.”

When communication is framed this way it is easier to understand the male mind. It sure opened my eyes to seeing men in a different way.

Other valuable lessons and resources are presented in the 224-page.

The glossary defines the essential terms of the book – words such as accommodation, enable, possibility thinking and recognition. The four appendices outline specific strategies in empowering oneself, including questions that can help reveal information about a person’s family life; rating your prospect on their character, talents and personality on a scale of one to five; an event journal; and the three most important things a woman must learn about a man who she is interested in.

Although the author thoroughly develops the purpose of his book – the concept of empowerment – this is the ONLY part of a relationship that he points out. Other important factors between couples such as trust, intimacy, communication in difficult times, and others are not explored. Addressing these points would have made the book more comprehensive.

Also lacking in the book are well-written sentences; instead they were full of grammar and punctuation errors. Sometimes the punctuation was just plain missing. At times I couldn’t believe my eyes. My train of thought was repeatedly disrupted by poor syntax and lack of clarity. I had to backtrack and reread.

Despite these setbacks, Becker’s message is clear. It offers women useful tips and is worth reading. Even those beyond college can benefit from it.

2007 ViolinPlay.Com LLC
224 pages
$14.95
Rating 2 out of 4 stars