Barry Bonds hit his second home run of the season and 710th of his career on Tuesday, with baseball fans everywhere collectively watching this science project explode into a massive fizzing volcano.
Although if the numbers go down into the record book, all this vinegar and steroid concoction of a once-great baseball player is going to warrant to fans is an dishonorable mention ribbon.
Seriously, Bonds should just stop playing baseball right now and worry about his impending jail time from the federal courts. His records mean nothing, Hank Aaron will still be considered the home run king. When he surpasses Ruth's 715 career homers this season (well if he does) it's going to be the most akward and surreal milestone celebrations in baseball.
It's like going to bed with someone you know you're going to regret going to bed with in the morning, but you do it anyways. We know Bonds cheated, that the integrity of his stats are nil, but the sportscasters will still have to report on it and fans will still have some sort of reaction to him blasting out his 715th home run.
Is there anything that baseball in general is dreading more? It's like when that crazy aunt nobody likes shows up to the family reunion and everyone has to tolerate her but it is very evident that they hate her guts. Bonds is still going to be able to trot around the bases and the media is still going to have to ask him how he feels and yadda, yadda, yadda.
I wish it would stop. Sure it's not just Bond's fault for this mess, baseball in general screwed up on the whole steroids issue by not drug testing, but the man doesn't know how to just fade away like McGuire has.
Mark McGuire anyone? Reinvented baseball with his breaking of Roger Maris' home run record, but once it was evident that he had used steroids, he skillfully dropped of the radar into exile. After the congressional steroid hearing in which he pretty much looked like Father Time and was more tentative than a catholic priest in a strip club has he been seen anywhere.
Actually someone should make sure that he's not hanging from a noose somewhere.
Bonds on the other hand seems to be in the middle of the quagmire. Drop off the radar? How about getting his own reality TV Show on ESPN. He's pretty much going to the focal point of this entire season whether he or the fans want that to happen anyways.
Why couldn't you just sneak away Barry, just step away from the game. Did they let Mike Brown run FEMA after Katrina? Was Janet Jackson invited back to do another Super Bowl halftime show?
No, Barry, you have shamed baseball and you need to go. When A-Rod breaks the career home run record I will gladly forget all about you and cheer for a Yankee the first and only time in my career as a sports fan.
And if I'm rooting for A-Rod, you know there's something definitely up.