Pleasures Found in Parking

Every semester people complain about parking, and every week I complain about something in print, so you’d think we’d be a perfect match.

I could use this forum to complain about how horrible parking is, just like the rest of the campus, and everyone would love me!

More than they already do, of course.

The thing is, I have no problem with parking. I love it, really. The ups, the downs, the dings, the dents _” they’re all part of this campus’s wonderful parking process.

It’s a challenge that I wake up every morning ready to conquer.

I prepare for school a half an hour early so that I have enough time for the morning parking routine.

Then I zoom in the lot and make my rounds.

Just like everyone else, I have my preferred parking areas, which I swear are easier to tackle, but then, just like everyone else, I show up and find the lots full at least three times per week.

So then I creep. Yeah, just creepin’ on the down low. Until I hit that perfect time when students get out of class and start filing into the parking lot with looks of exhaustion and discontent on their faces.

I pick one of these apathetic souls, and my mouth waters from the smell of victory as I follow them to their car.

Once in a while, I’ll miscalculate and wind up following that stray student with the confused expression on her face. At this point, I know I’m losing the battle. She’s looking around, she’s talking on her phone, she’s walking down the entirely wrong aisle because she has no idea where her car is, and, of course, I’m following her. Damn it.

It’s okay though because that’s all part of the game. Campus parking is just one big competition for me. – I never played sports in high school, OK?

The best part is that eventually everyone wins; it’s just a question of how long it will take and how exasperated you will be by the time you make it to class.

Some poor saps just can’t get the game part down. At the beginning of every semester they forget how it works, and they come to school 15 minutes before class and arrive in class 15 minutes late &#0151: they lose.

Then they complain about people who creep in the parking lot and they abhor those truly patient competitors who stake out spots throughout the aisles.

Some folks are so annoyed by students trying to park that they purposely weave between cars from aisle to aisle just to mess with the game.

Don’t these unsympathetic students find a spot the same way? How can they be so disconnected from the plight of student parking? Everyone knows how it is!

I say, reach out to your fellow man and woman, your peers! Signal where your car is parked or signal when you’re not leaving. We’ll give you a ride to your car, and you’ll make our day. For heaven’s sake, you know we’re following you!