Martin: Rate the political superhunks!

the-university-daily)/" class="creditline">Jeremy Martin (The University Daily)

“Who’d you rather – Michael Moore or Rush Limbaugh?” If you
haven’t heard it yet, you’ll be asked this head-scratcher soon
enough. “Just one?” most people reply, “Why can’t I have them
both?” It’s a tough choice, but before you answer, take some time
to really think about it.

 

Don’t just go with your gut reaction or the current trends;
follow your heart. The choice you make says a lot about you as a
person. These are just a few of the things you should consider
before you give your “final answer.”

 

What kind of over-the-top political extremist gets your motor
running? Do you like Rush’s classy white-collar look or Michael’s
working-man style? Rush sure cuts a dapper figure in his Italian
suits, but Michael’s baseball caps and flannel shirts give him that
rugged mountain man appeal.

 

Is there magic written in the stars? If so, you may want to keep
in mind Rush is a Capricorn, ambitious but pessimistic, while
Michael is a Taurus, reliable but jealous. Which is better for your
astrological makeup? Remember Venus is waning.

 

In the ’90s, this question was a no-brainer for most people, if
it was even asked at all. Rush was the ’90s “It” boy with his own
radio and television shows and two bestselling books. Michael, on
the other hand, was virtually unknown to the average person. Nine
times out of 10 when someone chose Michael Moore, it was because
they had mistaken him with singer/actress Mandy Moore. “Dude,
Michael Moore, for sure,” they’d say. “She was so freakin’ hot in
‘A Walk to Remember.'”

 

The tables are turning, however. These days Michael Moore is a
household name with three books and an Oscar under his 54 -inch
belt. His latest movie, “Fahrenheit 9/11,” grabbed the No. 1 slot
at the box office a couple of weekends ago. Yep, Michael is truly
“the next big thing” in political super-hunks.

 

But don’t count Rush out just yet. The upcoming election is
anybody’s guess, and it may change everything. The Democrats could
always win big in November and make it cool to hate liberals all
over again.

 

Who’s your type? In the past few years, Rush has developed a
sort of Colin Farrell-style bad boy image because of his alleged
drug use and multiple divorces, while Michael is more of a
boy-next-door Tobey Maguire kind of guy.

 

Which would you rather cuddle up to at night? That dangerous
edge is exciting to some people, but others want someone they know
will be there to hold them and tell them everything is going to be
all right.

 

On the physical side, there are several things to consider.
Remember there are no right or wrong answers; it’s just a matter of
taste. Michael, for example, is sure to be a favorite with fans of
long, luxurious hair and quirky Midwestern accents.

 

But Rush has slimmed down quite a bit recently, and his thinning
silver hair is sure to be a hit with those in search of a father
figure. Nirvana lovers will flock to Moore’s scruffy, unwashed
grunge look, but Limbaugh is going to register in a big way with
fans of personal hygiene.

 

So who’s the sexiest – conservative cutie Rush or bleeding
heartthrob Michael? I’ll leave that for you to decide. E-mail your
vote to [email protected] and I’ll print the results in next
week’s column. It’s the best way I know to settle this once and for
all, at least until they respond to my letters and agree to compete
in a swimsuit competition. Next week: the results and “Who’d you
rather- Laura Bush or Hillary Clinton?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright The University Daily