Web UpdateThings to expect when coming back to school

the-oklahoma-daily)/" class="creditline">Wes Provine
(The Oklahoma Daily)

The start of school is upon us again, and with that comes all
the joys of college life. The following is a list of things to
expect as you start the semester.

Take, for example, the parking permit. It is outrageously
expensive, it doesn’t guarantee you a parking place, and to
top it all off, if you buy one you may still be walking for
miles.

Then there is the matter of buying your books. They too are very
expensive, and good luck finding them. I had to go to two different
stores several times to get all my books. And you probably will
have a class where you don’t even use your books—money
down the drain.

When you try to sell them back, be prepared for a shock.
You’ll be doing well if you get 10 percent of what you paid
for them. Someone is making lots of money on this racket.

Then there are the joys of dorm living, if you are one of the
unlucky ones. With the noise, drunken roommates, filthy bathrooms
and 3 a.m. fire drills, you will be wishing for an apartment the
second week of class.

One of the most annoying things about college is the professor
with a political agenda. The class may be about the ancient
Egyptians, but you can bet you will be talking about the war in
Iraq and why George Bush is a stupid cowboy.

These arrogant professors will use the first 10 minutes of class
to lecture on why America is the true evil in the world and how
only John Kerry can undo the problems “W” created. For
some reason, these teachers assume that everyone else believes like
they do; they are shocked when they find out there are actually
conservatives in their class.

Here’s a little piece of advice for you. Be bold in
asserting your conservative beliefs. These liberal blowhards may
appear scary, but on the inside they are really spineless
socialists. In reality, they are terrified of Bush because they
don’t know what to make of somebody who actually believes in
something.

If you are fortunate enough to avoid the creatures described
above, you may still end up with one of those professors who fails
to realize you have a life outside of their class. These are the
types who will assign you several research papers on top of daily
quizzes and regular exams.

I feel for ya if you get one of these. Few things will make you
hate life more than endless studying. After all, the point of
college is to have fun, right?

There’s one more thing to look out for. Some students get
carried away with Sooner football. Yes, that is possible. Some
elevate this game to religion status. There is more to life than
football, even if some tell you otherwise.

Well, these are just some of the things you have to look forward
to. I hope I didn’t depress you too much. The good news is
that it will soon be over, and when you get out you can go get paid
for working instead of the other way around.

 

—Wes Provine is a history senior. His column will appear
every other Tuesday. He can be reached at
[email protected]
.

Copyright The Oklahoma Daily